Showing posts with label English sms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English sms. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Bahubali vs Bollywood Actors

Akshay Kumar created the Group..

Katrina- Hiiiiiii...

Priyanka - Bol cameli😠..

Kareena - hahaha😂😂😂

Sahid - Hey bebo...

Kareena Left..
Saif Left..

Priyanka - Sahid.. Tum Kareena k chamche ho..

Sahid Left..

SRK - Muje jungali billi bahut pasand hai..

Salman - Toh jungle me ja na.. 😆

Aamir - Aur Mannat mere naam kr dena..😜

SRK - Chup be bhikhari..

Anushka - Koi London chalega mere sath???

Akshay added 9991****00..

Anushka - Yeh kaun hai???

 Salman - Virat Kohli.. 😆

Anushka Left..

SRK - I'm second richest actor in the world..

Salman - Tiger zinda he bete..

Aamir - Ho jaye dangal..??

Deepika - Akki.. Yeh 3 fir se shuru ho gaye.. Kuchh karo..

Akshay added 9975***8

SRK - Yeh kaun hai Akki??

Akshay - Bhai apna introduction de jara..

9975***8 ( Prabhas) - Amrendra Baahubali, yani main........

Srk Left
Salman Left
Aamir Left

😂😂😂😂😂

Never Change your Originality

🍁
Never change your originality for the sake  of others, because of  no one can play your role better then you..!!

Marriage Disturbance

एक आदमी की टी शर्ट पर बहुत खूबसूरत लाइन लिखी हुई थी
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Please Do Not Disturb
I Am Married
I Am Already Disturb
😪😪😂😂😜😜

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Garmiyo me Ghoom ne layak Thandi jagah - Funny SMS

गर्मियों में घूमने लायक ठण्डी जगह :
1) HDFC BANK
2) ICICI BANK
3) AXIS BANK
4) KOTAK MAHENDRA BANK
5) IDBI BANK

भुलकर भी SBI, BOB, UBI
आदि बैंको में नही जाना यहाँ
A.C. SLOW चलता है।
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Things to learn from The Kapil Sharma Show - SMS

The Kapil Sharma Show has become a history. Things to learn from this:-

1. Everything that rises must fall.

2. You can't continue to rise or stay at the top by insulting your team mates.

3. Don't break the 'Winning Team'.

4. People only worship the rising sun.

5. Too much alcohol and ego is bad for your health.

6. It takes years to make a reputation and takes minutes to lose it.

7. You lose everything once u lose your reputation.

Monday, 20 March 2017

Eat Fruits in Healthy Way - SMS

🍋🍐🍋

Eating Fruit on Empty Stomach

This will open your eyes ! Read to the end and then send it on to all on your e-list. I just did !

Dr Stephen Mak treats terminal ill cancer patients by an "un-orthodox" way and many patients recovered.

Before he used solar energy to clear the illnesses of his patients, he believes on natural healing in the body against illnesses. See his article below.

It is one of the strategies to heal cancer. As of late, my success rate in curing cancer is about 80%.

Cancer patients shouldn't die. The cure for cancer is already found - its in the way we eat fruits.

It is whether you believe it or not.

I am sorry for the hundreds of cancer patients who die under the conventional treatments.

EATING FRUIT

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths.

It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat the fruits.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS!

FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH

If you eat fruits on empty stomach, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.

Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit.

The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so due to the bread taken before the fruit.

In the meantime the whole meal of bread & fruit rots and ferments and turns to acid.

The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals !

You have heard people complaining :

Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc.. etc..

Actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach.

The fruit mixes with the putrefying of other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat !

Greying hair, balding, nervous outburst and dark circles under the eyes all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter.

If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the  SECRET of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only  fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans, packs or bottles.

Don't even drink juice that has been heated up.

Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all.

You only get its taste.
Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice.

If you should drink the fresh fruit juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse or detoxify your body.

Just eat fruits and drink fresh fruit juice throughout the 3 days.

And you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look !

KIWI fruit:
Tiny but mighty.
This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

APPLE:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

STRAWBERRY:
Protective Fruit.
Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging and free radicals.

ORANGE :
Sweetest medicine.
Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON:
Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system.

They are also a key source of lycopene the cancer fighting oxidant.
Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.

GUAVA & PAPAYA:
Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content.

Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation.

Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.

Drinking COLD water or drinks after a meal = CANCER

Can you believe this ?

For those who like to drink cold water or cold drinks, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold water or cold drinks after a meal.

However, the cold water or drinks will solidify the oily stuff that you have just eaten.

It will slow down the digestion.

Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food.

It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into FATS and lead to CANCER !

It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says:
if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

So lets do it

Real Secret of Happiness - SMS

“The real secret of happiness is not what you have or what you receive; it’s what you share.” 

Sunday, 19 March 2017

FORGIVENESS & TOGETHERNESS - SMS

Wonderful to read👍👍

A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour. While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there  was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much.
One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow.
He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.
He replied, I am not blind. I was acting,  because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy.

Moral:- Some times it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another's short comings, in order to be happy


No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don't see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That's UNITY." May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness.

 1. ''Alone I can 'Say' but together we can 'talk'.
  2. "Alone I can 'Enjoy' but together we can celebrate

  3.  'Alone I can 'Smile' but together we can 'Laugh'.

   That's the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other
  STAY CONNECTED

            QUOTE OF THE DAY
The razor blade is sharp but can't cut a tree; the axe is strong but can't cut the hair.
   MORALS; Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose,Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes.

Husband Wife Fight - Funny SMS

Outstanding!! Can't even argue with this logic... 👌👌👌👌👏👏👏👏

Husband: I love you!

Wife: I love you too, infact
I love you so much
I will fight the whole world for you.

Husband: But you fight with me the most.

Wife: Because you are the world to me!

😂😂😂

Saturday, 18 March 2017

A Frustrated Student's Answer - Funny SMS

A frustrated student asked his Maths teacher...😡😡😡

If Zero was invented by Aryabhatt and he was born in Kaliyuga..... Then...

In the past Dwaparayug, who counted 100 Kauravas and in Tretayug who counted  Ravana's 10 heads and How?😳😳🙄🙄🤔🤔🤔🤔

Teacher resigned and went back to Vedic education but is still not able to find the answer...

Jokes apart but the point needs to be noted...🤔🤔

Indian Restaurants - Funny SMS

Yesterday we went to a restaurant to pay taxes.
VAT, Service Tax, Education Cess, Krishi Kalyan Cess, Swachh Bharat Cess etc.
The people there were really nice and warm.
They even gave us food. 😛

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Ladkiya Dhyan De - sms

लडकियां ध्यान दे !!
PLzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾
ये पोस्ट पढ़ने के बाद प्रत्येक लडकी हर लड़को को गलत
नहीं समझेगी ?
🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾
आखिर एक लड़के की परिभाषा क्या है ?
🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾
What is boy
🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾
भगवान की ऐसी संरचना जो बचपन से ही त्याग और
समझौता करना सीखता है
🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾 🌾
वह अपने चॉकलेटस का त्याग करता है बहन के लिये
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
वह अपने सपनो का त्याग कर माता-पिता की खुशी के लिये उनके
अनुसार कैरियर चुनता है
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾 वह अपनी
पूरी पॉकेट मनी गर्ल फ़्रेंड के लिये गिफ़्ट खरीदने में
लगाता है
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
वह अपनी पूरी जवानी बीवी-
बच्चों के लिये कमाने में लगाता है
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
वह अपना भविष्य बनाने के लिये लोन लेता है और बाकी की
ज़िंदगी उस लोन को चुकाने में लगाता है
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
इन सबके बावजुद वह पूरी ज़िंदगी पत्नी,माँ और
बॉस से डांट सुनने में लगाता है
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
पूरी ज़िंदगी पत्नी, माँ, बॉस और सास उस पर कंट्रोल
करने की कोशिश करते हैं 🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
🌾
उसकी पूरी ज़िंदगी दुसरो के लिये ही
बीतती है और बेचारा पुरुष ......
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बीवी पर हाथ उठाये तो "बेशर्म"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बीवी से मार खाये तो "बुजदिल"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बीवी को किसी और के साथ देख कर कुछ कहे तो
"शक्की"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
चुप रहे तो "डरपोक"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
घर से बाहर रहे तो "आवारा"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
घर में रहे तो "नाकारा"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बच्चों को डांटे तो"ज़ालिम"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
ना डांटे तो "लापरवाह"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बीवी को नौकरी करने से रोके तो "शक्की"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
बीवी को नौकरी करने दे
तो बीवी की "कमाई खाने वाला" 🌾🌾🌾
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
माँ की माने तो"चम्मचा"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾 बीवी
की माने तो "जोरु का गुलाम"
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
पूरी ज़िंदगी समझौता, त्याग और संघर्ष में
बिताने के बावजुद वह अपने लिये कुछ नहीं चाहता
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
इसलिये हर एक पुरुष की हमेशा इज़्ज़त करें क्यौ कि हर एक पुरुष मै
बेटा, भाई, बॉय फ़्रैंड, पति, दामाद, पिता हो सकता है, जिसका जीवन हमेशा
मुश्किलों से भरा हुआ है
सभी लड़के शेयर करे
🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾
कृपया इस पोस्ट को ज़्या दा से ज़्यादा शेयर करें
व्हाटसप सरकार द्वारा जनहित मे जारी..... 🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾😉

India's National People - funny sms

1. National Sister - Mamta Banerjee
_________
2. National Girlfriend - Sunny Leone
_________
3. National Tension - Salman Khan's Marriage
_________
4. National Bachelor - Rahul Gandhi
_________
5. National food - Kasam
_________
6. National Struggler - Abhishek Bachchan
_________
7. National Judge - Archana Puran Singh
_________
8. National Mom - Jaya Lalita
_________
9. National Jamaai - Robert Vadra
_________
10. National Book - Face Book
_________
11. National Robot -Manmohan Singh
_________
12. National Bank - Swiss Bank
_________
13. National God -My Daddy(Binod ) Sachin Tendulkar
_________
14. National Show - Comedy Nights with Kapil
_________
15. National Tiger - Narendra Modi
_________
16: National Time Pass :
      Whatsapp
_________
Amul - The taste of India

Babool - The paste of India

Rahul Gandhi - The waste of India
_________
Modi - The best of India

Sonia - The guest of India:
__________
😀😀😀😀😀😀
Market mein naya hai, aage frwd karo...

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Why do Indians resist paying taxes ?

Why do Indians resist paying taxes ?

Interesting thoughts on why Indian resist paying taxes, in an open letter to the Prime Minister.

Forwarded as received:

Dear Modiji,

This is what we honest citizens feel about our Governments - Central and State...

On behalf of professionals & businessmen, I am sending you some facts ..

Please try to unnderstand.

We are not doing Tax '"Chori"'... this is tax saving (a bit of evading too).

This is to ensure security of our family, kids and their future for any adversity.

1. We bought Generators/Inverter in our houses, because Govt. failed to provide constant electricity⚡ 🌆

2. We installed submersible pumps, because Govt. failed to provide water. 💦 🚿

3. We hired own security guards, because Govt. failed to provide security 🚨

4. We send our kids to private schools, because Govt failed to provide good education in public schools. 📝📚

5. We headed for private hospitals to avail proper care and treatment, because Govt. failed to provide good public hospitals.

6. We bought 🚗 🚗cars because Govt. failed to provide good transportation. 🚍🚃🚄🚆🚝

Finally.., what the tax payer gets in return at the retirement, when he needs most to survive ?

Nothing, no social security.

But instead all his hard earned income resource is used by Government to distribute subsidies and freebies in the name of welfare schemes among masses to buy "free votes" to those who don't pay any taxes.

Above all what Govt do with our (tax) money?

Open courts-which do not give judgement.

Open police station which works for politicians only and not protect citizens.

Open hospital which do not treat us well.

Build roads wherein 40-100% of money spent goes in vain due to corruption.

Endless list....

Like western democracies, if Indian Government could provide all the above, why would anyone save taxes ?

We all know that the major tax revenues collected from us are consumed by Government officials and politicians (billions of dollars 💵 are lying in foreign banks).

A manufacturer works at a margin of between 2% to 10% , whereas government needs 30% of his income to cover it's expenditure. How fair it is all ?

That's the reason no one wants to pay 💰💰taxes.

We save taxes for our necessities, family, for our old age, for our safety, security and this phenomenon is the sign of failure of Government in discharging it's own functions fairly and efficiently. Governmentin alone is responsible for this.😡😡

But on other hand...

We challenge that if Govt announces that Rs.1000 crore is required for Indian Army or floods or earthquake victims !!!

The same amount will be deposited within couple of days by these "Tax Savers" only.

We will come forward with open hearts.

My dear friends,

If you agree with this opinion please forward this until the Government realises.

We shall not only forward this but now time has come we all shall discuss and put this view openly / strongly/boldly through all associations because Govt is openly calling all बईमान and we notice Govt official continue to black mail us and we notice there is not one percent fall in asking of bribe..
 Circulate this message as widely & briskly as possible so that rhe Govt is compelled to atleast pay cognisance for our common  good.._

So hurry ladies and gentlemen!!

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

God's AlphaNumerical Message SMS

Very interesting & meaningful msg 2 share:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is equal to:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then,

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K
=8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11
= 98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
=11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
=96%

L+O+V+E
= 12+15+22+5
= 54%

L+U+C+K ;
=12+21+3+11
= 47%

None of them makes 100%.
Then what makes 100%?

Is it Money?
.
.
.
NO!

M+O+N+E+Y
= 13+15+14+5+25
=72%

Leadership?
.
.
.
NO!

L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P
=12+5+1+4+5+18+19+8+9+16
=97%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our

     "ATTITUDE"...

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E ;
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%

It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100% Successful.

Amazing mathematics

Beautiful msg to share:
Do you agree that we have 26 alphabets in English, as given below

A = 1 ; B = 2 ; C = 3 ; D = 4 ;
E = 5 ; F = 6 ; G = 7 ; H = 8 ;
I = 9 ; J = 10 ; K = 11 ; L = 12 ;
M = 13 ; N = 14 ; O = 15 ; P = 16 ;
Q = 17 ; R = 18 ; S = 19 ; T = 20 ;
U = 21 ; V = 22 ; W = 23 ; X =24 ;
Y = 25 ; Z = 26.

With each alphabet getting a number, in chronological order, as above, study the following, and bring down the total to a single digit and see the result yourself

Hindu -
S  h  r  e  e   K  r  i  s  h  n  a
19+8+18+5+5+11+18+9+19+8+14+1
=135
=1+3+5 = 9

Muslim
M  o  h  a  m  m  e  d
13+15+8+1+13+13+5+4
= 72
= 7+2 = 9

Jain
M a  h a v  i  r
13+1+8+1+22+9+18
  =72
= 7+2= 9

Sikh
G  u  r  u   N  a  n  a  k
7+21+18+21+14+1+14+1+11
=108
=1+0+8 = 9

Parsi
Z  a  r  a  t  h  u  s  t  r a
26+1+18+1+20+8+21+19+20+18+1
=153
=1+5+3 = 9

Buddhist
G  a   u  t  a  m
7+1+21+20+1+13
=63
= 6+3 = 9

Christian
E  s   a  M  e  s  s  i   a  h
5+19+1+13+5+19+19+9+1+8
=99
9+9=18
1+8 = 9

Each one ends with number  9

THAT IS NATURE'S CREATION TO SHOW THAT GOD IS ONE !!!

👈 who ever created this msg's great..... msg👌👌👌👌💖✨✨✨🌟🌟🌟✨✨💖💖
plz share it to all ur friends

Friday, 10 March 2017

Be Happy and Keep Smiling SMS

Be happy with the little that you have.
There are people with nothing that still manage to smile.

Keep Smiling.

Indians paying Tax SMS

Why do Indians resist paying taxes ?

Interesting thoughts on why Indian resist paying taxes, in an open letter to the Prime Minister.

Forwarded as received:

Dear Modiji,

This is what we honest citizens feel about our Governments - Central and State...

On behalf of professionals & businessmen, I am sending you some facts ..

Please try to unnderstand.

We are not doing Tax '"Chori"'... this is tax saving (a bit of evading too).

This is to ensure security of our family, kids and their future for any adversity.

1. We bought Generators/Inverter in our houses, because Govt. failed to provide constant electricity⚡ 🌆

2. We installed submersible pumps, because Govt. failed to provide water. 💦 🚿

3. We hired own security guards, because Govt. failed to provide security 🚨

4. We send our kids to private schools, because Govt failed to provide good education in public schools. 📝📚

5. We headed for private hospitals to avail proper care and treatment, because Govt. failed to provide good public hospitals.

6. We bought 🚗 🚗cars because Govt. failed to provide good transportation. 🚍🚃🚄🚆🚝

Finally.., what the tax payer gets in return at the retirement, when he needs most to survive ?

Nothing, no social security.

But instead all his hard earned income resource is used by Government to distribute subsidies and freebies in the name of welfare schemes among masses to buy "free votes" to those who don't pay any taxes.

Above all what Govt do with our (tax) money?

Open courts-which do not give judgement.

Open police station which works for politicians only and not protect citizens.

Open hospital which do not treat us well.

Build roads wherein 40-100% of money spent goes in vain due to corruption.

Endless list....

Like western democracies, if Indian Government could provide all the above, why would anyone save taxes ?

We all know that the major tax revenues collected from us are consumed by Government officials and politicians (billions of dollars 💵 are lying in foreign banks).

A manufacturer works at a margin of between 2% to 10% , whereas government needs 30% of his income to cover it's expenditure. How fair it is all ?

That's the reason no one wants to pay 💰💰taxes.

We save taxes for our necessities, family, for our old age, for our safety, security and this phenomenon is the sign of failure of Government in discharging it's own functions fairly and efficiently. Governmentin alone is responsible for this.😡😡

But on other hand...

We challenge that if Govt announces that Rs.1000 crore is required for Indian Army or floods or earthquake victims !!!

The same amount will be deposited within couple of days by these "Tax Savers" only.

We will come forward with open hearts.

My dear friends,

If you agree with this opinion please forward this until the Government realises.

We shall not only forward this but now time has come we all shall discuss and put this view openly / strongly/boldly through all associations because Govt is openly calling all बईमान and we notice Govt official continue to black mail us and we notice there is not one percent fall in asking of bribe..
 Circulate this message as widely & briskly as possible so that rhe Govt is compelled to atleast pay cognisance for our common  good.._

So hurry ladies and gentlemen!!

Super Mom SMS

I asked mom
why computers are
so smart?

My mother replied
because computer follows instructions
from mother board

😃😃😃😃
Dedicated to all supermoms💃💃

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Thursday, 9 March 2017

Waves in the Ocean sms

Just like waves in the ocean come and go, no challenge is permanent. Problems will come and go too. We must enjoy the Challenges just like we enjoy the Waves